• Aggie Connor

Who are you without the drink in your hand?

What is the one thing I hear from clients the most often?

“I don’t even know who I am”. It is a sentence I often said myself early in the process of giving up alcohol. A recovery professional I worked with asked me a few very basic questions:

“What are your values?”

“What are your beliefs about yourself?”

“What is important to you in life?”

“What is your biggest passion?”

I burst into tears. The realisation that my every single answer was “I don’t know” was very uncomfortable to say the least.

The women who reach out to me for help are very similar to that old me. They have not taken the time to explore themselves, their own mindsets and beliefs, the don’t know who they are becoming. As a result, many choices in their lives have been random and not fully intentional. They don’t feel in charge. They feel like something is missing in the puzzle of their life.

I believe that alcohol does a lot of damage to our self-awareness. It takes up so much space and energy that there is very little left for self-discovery, plus we don’t really feel the need. We just wait for the next weekend, next night out, next drinking evening. Life feels like it does not have a clear direction. If you add to this the shame and guilt of regularly ending up drunk, then it is not surprising that we don’t feel like going within. We drink to escape exactly that.

That was my experience all the way. I was in a wrong career, wrong relationships, wrong environment. But because I didn’t want to take responsibility, I convinced myself that it’s what life looks like. I woke up every morning absolutely hating my life and anxious about the day ahead and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. As I was getting more in balance, I started believing, that maybe I was not damaged or a lost case. I was slowly rebuilding this gentle connection with the woman I had always been meant to be. She was still there, waiting for me to find her.

Helping women find out who they are without the drink in their hand is one of my favourite aspects of the work I do. For them it feels like coming back home and it is a privileged to be able to give them the right tools to do this.

As always, if you need help giving up drinking, click the link below and send me a message and I WILL get back to you.

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